Discussion:
To the citizens of the United States of America. lol
(too old to reply)
PErTHgUY.mmv
2005-05-27 15:34:39 UTC
Permalink
To the citizens of the United States of America.

In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA and thus
to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will
resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other
territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister
(The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 7.85% of you who have until now
been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a
minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and
the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year
to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a
British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate
effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then
look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at
just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be
reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter
'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to
spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love
affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize"
will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix 'burgh
is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh
as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you
should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary".
Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as
"like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the
Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then
you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary
then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of
the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It
really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney,
upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to
learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart"
will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about
regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in
England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it
Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire,
Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the
good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English
characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf"
will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who
can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",
but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get
confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of
football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.
The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders
may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no
longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult
game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby
(which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for
a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like
nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by
2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an
event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of
America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your
borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be
allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without
fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is
a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians
have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "5hit". You will no
longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own
or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because
we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous
items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in
public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are cr*p and it is for your own
good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All
road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving
on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with
immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts
and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries
are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85%
of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not
aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato
chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in
animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be
served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with
customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all
tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be
doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer
at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be
referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance
will be referred to as "Lager".

The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred
to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the
American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak
Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured
for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk
of confusion.

13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you
will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the
former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and
the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US
gallon - get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or
therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that
you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by
adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone
or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to
ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your cooperation.
Sir Marksman
2005-05-27 15:46:24 UTC
Permalink
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
To the citizens of the United States of America.
In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA
We did. You are in error.
Adrian Miles-Davros
2005-05-27 16:04:12 UTC
Permalink
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
To the citizens of the United States of America.
In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA
We did. You are in error.
No you didn't!
Sir Marksman
2005-05-27 16:21:28 UTC
Permalink
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
To the citizens of the United States of America.
In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA
We did. You are in error.
No you didn't!
We did, unfortunately you whiners didn't like who we elected.

We followed US laws and he was duly elected.

Whine all you want, but you can't do a damn thing about US law.
IAAH
2005-05-27 16:29:22 UTC
Permalink
On Fri, 27 May 2005 17:04:12 +0100, "Adrian Miles-Davros"
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
To the citizens of the United States of America.
In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA
We did. You are in error.
No you didn't!
Don't encourage Marky Marksman. He's not only humour-impaired, but
he's also thinking-impaired.
Sir Marksman
2005-05-27 17:01:23 UTC
Permalink
Post by IAAH
On Fri, 27 May 2005 17:04:12 +0100, "Adrian Miles-Davros"
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
To the citizens of the United States of America.
In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA
We did. You are in error.
No you didn't!
Don't encourage [...] Marksman. He's not only humour-impaired, but
he's also thinking-impaired.
Thank you for admitting you have nothing but ad-homenim attacks and insults,
nothing more.

You are not interested in debate at all.
Adrian Miles-Davros
2005-05-28 00:04:42 UTC
Permalink
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by IAAH
On Fri, 27 May 2005 17:04:12 +0100, "Adrian Miles-Davros"
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
To the citizens of the United States of America.
In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA
We did. You are in error.
No you didn't!
Don't encourage [...] Marksman. He's not only humour-impaired, but
he's also thinking-impaired.
Thank you for admitting you have nothing but ad-homenim attacks and
insults, > nothing more.
If you had any sense of humour you would have realised that my comment was
quite tongue in cheek, and I am assuming that you don't consider it an
ad-hominem attack to call me a whiner.

(Please note the spelling of ad-hominem and try to get it right in future)
Post by Sir Marksman
You are not interested in debate at all.
With you there is probably no point.
Sir Marksman
2005-05-28 00:11:06 UTC
Permalink
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by IAAH
On Fri, 27 May 2005 17:04:12 +0100, "Adrian Miles-Davros"
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
To the citizens of the United States of America.
In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA
We did. You are in error.
No you didn't!
Don't encourage [...] Marksman. He's not only humour-impaired, but
he's also thinking-impaired.
Thank you for admitting you have nothing but ad-homenim attacks and
insults, > nothing more.
If you had any sense of humour you would have realised that my comment was
quite tongue in cheek, and I am assuming that you don't consider it an
ad-hominem attack to call me a whiner.
(Please note the spelling of ad-hominem and try to get it right in future)
Oh look! A spelling flame! ROFL!
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
Post by Sir Marksman
You are not interested in debate at all.
With you there is probably no point.
I am glad you admit you would lose.
Adrian Miles-Davros
2005-05-27 23:57:43 UTC
Permalink
Post by IAAH
On Fri, 27 May 2005 17:04:12 +0100, "Adrian Miles-Davros"
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
To the citizens of the United States of America.
In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA
We did. You are in error.
No you didn't!
Don't encourage Marky Marksman. He's not only humour-impaired, but > he's
also thinking-impaired.
Yes that was apparent when I saw his reply, which should really have been:-

Oh Yes we did!
Sir Marksman
2005-05-28 00:06:15 UTC
Permalink
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
Post by IAAH
On Fri, 27 May 2005 17:04:12 +0100, "Adrian Miles-Davros"
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
To the citizens of the United States of America.
In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA
We did. You are in error.
No you didn't!
Don't encourage Marky Marksman. He's not only humour-impaired, but > he's
also thinking-impaired.
Yes that was apparent when I saw his reply, which should really have been:-
Oh Yes we did!
ROFL! God you are ignorant.
Dr Halonfire$
2005-05-28 18:26:06 UTC
Permalink
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
Post by IAAH
On Fri, 27 May 2005 17:04:12 +0100, "Adrian Miles-Davros"
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
To the citizens of the United States of America.
In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA
We did. You are in error.
No you didn't!
Don't encourage Marky Marksman. He's not only humour-impaired, but
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
he's also thinking-impaired.
Yes that was apparent when I saw his reply, which should really have been:-
Oh Yes we did!
ROFL! God you are ignorant.
Is this the sound of a Christian realising sense about the extremist
teachings? ;)
--
My part-time website is at http://5110.sytes.net
The full-time one is at http://www.geocities.com/spmf38 , but there's
no TechSection there.
Sir Marksman
2005-05-28 19:01:03 UTC
Permalink
Post by Dr Halonfire$
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
Post by IAAH
On Fri, 27 May 2005 17:04:12 +0100, "Adrian Miles-Davros"
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
To the citizens of the United States of America.
In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA
We did. You are in error.
No you didn't!
Don't encourage Marky Marksman. He's not only humour-impaired, but
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
he's also thinking-impaired.
Yes that was apparent when I saw his reply, which should really have been:-
Oh Yes we did!
ROFL! God you are ignorant.
Is this the sound of a Christian realising sense about the extremist
teachings? ;)
You mean the extremist teaching of the far left?
Dr Halonfire$
2005-05-28 21:33:29 UTC
Permalink
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by Dr Halonfire$
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
Post by IAAH
On Fri, 27 May 2005 17:04:12 +0100, "Adrian Miles-Davros"
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
To the citizens of the United States of America.
In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA
We did. You are in error.
No you didn't!
Don't encourage Marky Marksman. He's not only humour-impaired, but
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
he's also thinking-impaired.
Yes that was apparent when I saw his reply, which should really have been:-
Oh Yes we did!
ROFL! God you are ignorant.
Is this the sound of a Christian realising sense about the extremist
teachings? ;)
You mean the extremist teaching of the far left?
Also the far right. : The name John Holme is appearing in various newsgroups
and on various websites.

http://uk.geocities.com/oracnet2003/Holme.htm

http://www.salisburymp.com/ is his political website, named such before the
election and previous to his election defeat, coming last place with 240
votes and losing his deposit

This neofascistic extremist runs an extremist mission "The Lighthouse
Fellowship" in Salisbury. : I've actually attended one of the sermons he has
given, and didn't like or agree with much that I heard.: Amidst the
proclamations of love for all humankind and the Holy Spirit having made them
better people was a torrent of homophobic & anti-pagan, anti-non-christian,
anti-society condemnatory drivel about how only people like them were going
to heaven and Pagans and the like, who were without doubt homosexual because
his Biblical interpretation said so, homosexuals being in his opinion
straight people who choose to have sex with others of their sex because they
deliberately want to sin, not a genetic or medical thing despite evidence to
the contrary, because his interpretation of the Bible said so, are all going
to hell..... (I told him to his face that he was talking rubbish and refused
to return there; although I'm curious as to what exactly makes these people
tick so I will go back eventually.)
--
My part-time website is at http://5110.sytes.net
The full-time one is at http://www.geocities.com/spmf38 , but there's
no TechSection there.
Adrian Miles-Davros
2005-05-30 20:15:32 UTC
Permalink
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
Post by IAAH
On Fri, 27 May 2005 17:04:12 +0100, "Adrian Miles-Davros"
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
Post by Sir Marksman
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
To the citizens of the United States of America.
In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA
We did. You are in error.
No you didn't!
Don't encourage Marky Marksman. He's not only humour-impaired, but
Post by Adrian Miles-Davros
he's also thinking-impaired.
Yes that was apparent when I saw his reply, which should really have been:-
Oh Yes we did!
ROFL! God you are ignorant.
Is this the sound of a Christian realising sense about the extremist >
teachings? ;)
Sounds more like the sound of a christian realising the patriarchal
anthropomorphisation they call god is simply a projection and proof of their
own ignorance.
JPF
2005-05-27 17:33:39 UTC
Permalink
Revocation of the Independence of USA ( by John Cleese)
Recently, John Cleese read this out loud to an audience in America:
It's Satire okay? At least give credit where credit is due.
Sorry for the top post!
Joy <><
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
To the citizens of the United States of America.
In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA and thus
to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will
resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other
territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister
(The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 7.85% of you who have until now
been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a
minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and
the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year
to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a
British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then
look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at
just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be
reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter
'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to
spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love
affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize"
will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix 'burgh
is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh
as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you
should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary".
Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as
"like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the
Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then
you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary
then you won't have to use bad language as often.
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of
the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It
really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney,
upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to
learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart"
will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about
regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in
England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it
Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire,
Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the
good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English
characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf"
will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who
can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",
but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get
confused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of
football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.
The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders
may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no
longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult
game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby
(which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for
a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like
nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by
2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an
event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of
America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your
borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be
allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without
fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is
a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians
have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "5hit". You will no
longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own
or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because
we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous
items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in
public.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are cr*p and it is for your own
good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All
road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving
on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with
immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts
and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries
are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85%
of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not
aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato
chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in
animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be
served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with
customers.
11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all
tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be
doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.
12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer
at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be
referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance
will be referred to as "Lager".
The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred
to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the
American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak
Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured
for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk
of confusion.
13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you
will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the
former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and
the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US
gallon - get used to it).
14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or
therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that
you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by
adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone
or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to
ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your cooperation.
Robin
2005-05-27 21:50:45 UTC
Permalink
Post by JPF
Revocation of the Independence of USA ( by John Cleese)
Recently, John Cleese read this out loud to an audience in
It's Satire okay? At least give credit where credit is
due.
Sorry for the top post!
Joy <><
Who says Brits don't have a sense of humour. That was
hilarious.
Post by JPF
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
To the citizens of the United States of America.
In the light of your failure to elect a proper President
of the USA and thus
to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the
revocation of your
independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty
Queen Elizabeth II will
resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths
and other
territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your
new prime minister
(The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 7.85% of you
who have until now
been unaware that there is a world outside your borders)
will appoint a
minister for America without the need for further
elections. Congress and
the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be
circulated next year
to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the
transition to a
British Crown Dependency, the following rules are
introduced with immediate
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English
Dictionary. Then
look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You
will be amazed at
just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter
'U' will be
reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour',
skipping the letter
'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise,
you will learn to
spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You
will end your love
affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee')
and the suffix "ize"
will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that
the suffix 'burgh
is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to
respell Pittsburgh
as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct
pronunciation. Generally, you
should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look
up "vocabulary".
Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with
filler noises such as
"like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient
form of
communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no
more 'bleeps' in the
Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope
with bad language then
you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop
your vocabulary
then you won't have to use bad language as often.
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let
Microsoft know on
your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted
to take account of
the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and
Australian accents. It
really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited
to Cockney,
upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You
will also have to
learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish
dramas such as "Taggart"
will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're
talking about
regions, you must learn that there is no such place as
Devonshire in
England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you
persist in calling it
Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g.
Texasshire,
Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast
English actors as the
good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English
actors to play English
characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly"
or "Red Dwarf"
will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy
American audience who
can't cope with the humour of occasional political
incorrectness.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God
Save The Queen",
but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not
want you to get
confused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American "football". There is
only one kind of
football. What you refer to as American "football" is not
a very good game.
The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world
outside your borders
may have noticed that no one else plays "American"
football. You will no
longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play
proper football.
Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls.
It is a difficult
game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed
to play rugby
(which is similar to American "football", but does not
involve stopping for
a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body
armour like
nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US
rugby sevens side by
2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not
reasonable to host an
event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not
played outside of
America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is
a world beyond your
borders, your error is understandable. Instead of
baseball, you will be
allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is
baseball without
fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or
hotdogs.
7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using
nuclear weapons if
they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not
aware that there is
a world outside your borders should count yourselves
lucky. The Russians
have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for
"5hit". You will no
longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no
longer be allowed to own
or carry anything more dangerous in public than a
vegetable peeler. Because
we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle
potentially dangerous
items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a
vegetable peeler in
public.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2th
will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called
"Indecisive Day".
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are cr*p and
it is for your own
good. When we show you German cars, you will understand
what we mean. All
road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You
will start driving
on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you
will go metric with
immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion
tables. Roundabouts
and metrication will help you understand the British
sense of humour.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you
call French fries
are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are
Belgian though 97.85%
of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in
Europe) are not
aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you
insist on calling potato
chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick
cut and fried in
animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is
beer which should be
served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be
more aggressive with
customers.
11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will
be added to all
tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this
quantity to be
doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.
12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer
is not actually beer
at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper
British Bitter will be
referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and
accepted provenance
will be referred to as "Lager".
The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will
henceforth be referred
to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine", with the exception of
the product of the
American Budweiser company whose product will be referred
to as "Weak
Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser
(as manufactured
for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be
sold without risk
of confusion.
13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or
"Gasoline" as you
will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st
2005) prices with the
former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of
the former USA and
the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices
(roughly $6/US
gallon - get used to it).
14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without
using guns, lawyers or
therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and
therapists shows that
you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should
only be handled by
adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out
without suing someone
or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up
enough to handle a gun.
15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us
crazy.
Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with
you shortly to
ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to
1776).
Thank you for your cooperation.
w***@privacy.net
2005-05-27 23:13:03 UTC
Permalink
Don't piss us off or we'll have to kick your boney ass again.
el gran hermano te vigila
2005-05-28 03:01:51 UTC
Permalink
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then
look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at
just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be
reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter
'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to
spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love
affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize"
will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix 'burgh
is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh
as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you
should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary".
Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as
"like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the
Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then
you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary
then you won't have to use bad language as often.
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of
the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".
Hee hee! And in fact I am a fanatic of U.S. spelling, even when I quote
British or other Commonwealth articles I subvert them by correcting all
the improper British spellings and punctuation. I'm sorry the British
Empire let itself collapse, the USA is the new empire and it is our
culture, our language usage and spelling, etc. that will be imposed on
the rest of the world. It is interesting to note that despite their
relative peace and high standard of living, none of the former British
possessions (e.g. Australia) come nowhere near the economic, political
or cultural power of the USA. Offhand I can think of a total of 4
Australian cultural figures - Paul Hogan, Dame Edna, Crocodile Dundee,
and Steve Irwin. That's it, 4 internationally-known celebrities for
an entire continent.
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It
really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney,
upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to
learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart"
will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about
regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in
England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it
Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire,
Floridashire, Louisianashire.
- "I can't wait to start killing some Australians!"
- "Um, I think we're at war with Canada..."
- "Canada, Australia - what's the difference?"
-- South Park Movie
Andrealphus
2005-05-28 03:06:29 UTC
Permalink
Post by el gran hermano te vigila
Hee hee! And in fact I am a fanatic of U.S. spelling, even when I quote
British or other Commonwealth articles I subvert them by correcting all
the improper British spellings and punctuation.
You really need to get a life.
RamRod Sword of Baal
2005-05-28 07:46:55 UTC
Permalink
"el gran hermano te vigila" <***@partido.org.mx> wrote in message
news:zaRle.9260
Post by el gran hermano te vigila
I'm sorry the British
Empire let itself collapse, the USA is the new empire and it is our
culture, our language usage and spelling, etc. that will be imposed on
the rest of the world. It is interesting to note that despite their
relative peace and high standard of living, none of the former British
possessions (e.g. Australia) come nowhere near the economic, political
or cultural power of the USA.
Well you have been trying to impose your "American Culture" (an oxymoron if
I ever heard one) the rest of the world now for ages, but the rest of the
world just laughs at you.


Now I am not bragging about Australia, as there are other places that they
say are better but here are some facts........


As for best standards of living, let us see now........

http://www.mapsofworld.com/world-top-ten/world-top-ten-quality-of-life-map.html

2002-2004

Norway
Sweden
Canada
Belgium
Australia
United States
Iceland
Netherlands
Japan
Finland


=====================

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4020523.stm

2004

1 Ireland
2 Switzerland
3 Norway
4 Luxembourg
5 Sweden
6 Australia
7 Iceland
8 Italy
9 Denmark
10 Spain


The USA languished in 13th, while Britain was 29th - the lowest of the
pre-expansion EU nations.


==================


Best cities to live in.

http://across.co.nz/qualityofliving.htm


====================

http://quinnell.us/politics/kangas/standardliving.html
Myth: The U.S. has the world's highest standard of living.

Fact: By a great many important measures, it doesn't.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kangas Summary: The U.S. has the highest productivity per worker in the
world. But how Americans spend that productivity is another matter entirely.
Working with slightly less, the other rich nations of the world have built
clearly better societies: better health and vital statistics, universal
health coverage, smaller health costs, less violent crime, less pollution,
higher home ownership, more democratic participation, greater social
programs, less government corruption, less teenage sex, fewer teenage
pregnancies, fewer abortions, larger middle classes, less poverty, less
child poverty, greater savings, greater investment, less debt? the list goes
on and on.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My Comments:

Clearly, this one is true. We do have one of the higher standards of living
in the world, but when we are compared to other modern industrialized
democracies, we fair quite poorly.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Full Kangas Argument


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Further evidence:


a.. In 2004, the U.S. averaged 6.6 infant deaths per 1000 live births, a
rate that was behind Australia, Austria, Canada, the Czech Republic,
Denmark, Finalnd, France, Germany, Greece, Ireland, Italy, Japan, New
Zealand, Norway, Portugal, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland and the United
Kingdom. (IP)

b.. In 2004, the average life expectancy for Americans was 77.4, a rate
that was behind Australia, Austria, Canada, Cyprus, Finland, France,
Germany, Greece, Israel, Italy, Japan, New Zealand, Norway, Spain, Sweden,
Switzerland, the United Kingdom and and tied with Denmark and Ireland. (IP)

c.. In 2003, the U.S. had the second highest per capita income ($37,800)
behind Luxembourg ($55,100). It appears that Norway ($37,700) will soon pass
us as well. (IP)

d.. As of 2002, we do not rank amongst the top 30 countries in the world
when it comes to income equality. (IP)

e.. In 1995, the U.S. had an unemployment rate of 5.6%, a rate higher than
Austria, Belarus, Bolivia, Chile, China, Costa Rica, Cyprus, the Czech
Republic, Fiji, Honduras, Iceland, Japan, Kazakstan, Korea, Luxembourg,
Macau, Malaysia, Malta, Mexico, Moldova, Norway, Pakistan, Paraguay, San
Marino, Singapore, South Africa, Switzerland, Thailand and Uzbekistan. (IP)

f.. According to the 2004 U.N. Human Development Index, the U.S. ranked
No. 8 on the list of "Most Livable Countries," behind Norway, Sweden,
Australia, Canada, the Netherlands, Belgium and Iceland (IP)

g.. The United States is 49th in the world in literacy (the New York
Times, Dec. 12, 2004).

h.. The United States ranked 28th out of 40 countries in mathematical
literacy (NYT, Dec. 12, 2004).

i.. "The International Adult Literacy Survey...found that Americans with
less than nine years of education 'score worse than virtually all of the
other countries'" (Jeremy Rifkin's superbly documented book The European
Dream: How Europe's Vision of the Future Is Quietly Eclipsing the American
Dream, p.78).

j.. Our workers are so ignorant and lack so many basic skills that
American businesses spend $30 billion a year on remedial training (NYT, Dec.
12, 2004).

k.. "The European Union leads the U.S. in...the number of science and
engineering graduates; public research and development (R&D) expenditures;
and new capital raised" (The European Dream, p.70).

l.. "Europe surpassed the United States in the mid-1990s as the largest
producer of scientific literature" (The European Dream, p.70).

m.. Nevertheless, Congress cut funds to the National Science Foundation.
The agency will issue 1,000 fewer research grants this year (NYT, Dec. 21,
2004).

n.. Foreign applications to U.S. grad schools declined 28 percent last
year. Foreign student enrollment on all levels fell for the first time in
three decades, but increased greatly in Europe and China. Last year Chinese
grad-school graduates in the U.S. dropped 56 percent, Indians 51 percent,
South Koreans 28 percent (NYT, Dec. 21, 2004).

o.. The World Health Organization "ranked the countries of the world in
terms of overall health performance, and the U.S. [was]...37th." In the
fairness of health care, we're 54th. "The irony is that the United States
spends more per capita for health care than any other nation in the world"
(The European Dream, pp.79-80).

p.. "The U.S. and South Africa are the only two developed countries in the
world that do not provide health care for all their citizens" (The European
Dream, p.80).

q.. Lack of health insurance coverage causes 18,000 unnecessary American
deaths a year. That's six times the number of people killed on 9/11. (NYT,
Jan. 12, 2005.)

r.. "U.S. childhood poverty now ranks 22nd, or second to last, among the
developed nations. Only Mexico scores lower" (The European Dream, p.81).

s.. Twelve million American families--more than 10 percent of all U.S.
households--"continue to struggle, and not always successfully, to feed
themselves." Families that "had members who actually went hungry at some
point last year" numbered 3.9 million (NYT, Nov. 22, 2004).

t.. The United States is 41st in the world in infant mortality. Cuba
scores higher (NYT, Jan. 12, 2005).

u.. Women are 70 percent more likely to die in childbirth in America than
in Europe (NYT, Jan. 12, 2005).

v.. The leading cause of death of pregnant women in this country is murder
(CNN, Dec. 14, 2004).

w.. "Of the 20 most developed countries in the world, the U.S. was dead
last in the growth rate of total compensation to its workforce in the
1980s.... In the 1990s, the U.S. average compensation growth rate grew only
slightly, at an annual rate of about 0.1 percent" (The European Dream,
p.39).

x.. "Sixty-one of the 140 biggest companies on the Global Fortune 500
rankings are European, while only 50 are U.S. companies" (The European
Dream, p.66).

y.. "In a recent survey of the world's 50 best companies, conducted by
Global Finance, all but one were European" (The European Dream, p.69).

z.. The United States has lost 1.3 million jobs to China in the last
decade (CNN, Jan. 12, 2005).

aa.. U.S. employers eliminated 1 million jobs in 2004 (The Week, Jan. 14,
2005).

ab.. Three million six hundred thousand Americans ran out of unemployment
insurance last year; 1.8 million--one in five--unemployed workers are
jobless for more than six months (NYT, Jan. 9, 2005).

ac.. Japan, China, Taiwan, and South Korea hold 40 percent of our
government debt. "By helping keep mortgage rates from rising, China has come
to play an enormous and little-noticed role in sustaining the American
housing boom" (NYT, Dec. 4, 2004).

ad.. Sometime in the next 10 years Brazil will probably pass the U.S. as
the world's largest agricultural producer. Brazil is now the world's largest
exporter of chickens, orange juice, sugar, coffee, and tobacco. Last year,
Brazil passed the U.S. as the world's largest beef producer. As a result,
while we bear record trade deficits, Brazil boasts a $30 billion trade
surplus (NYT, Dec. 12, 2004).

ae.. As of last June, the U.S. imported more food than it exported (NYT,
Dec. 12, 2004).

af.. One-third of all U.S. children are born out of wedlock. One-half of
all U.S. children will live in a one-parent house (CNN, Dec. 10, 2004).

ag.. "Nearly 900,000 children were abused or neglected in 2002, the last
year for which such data are available" (USA Today, Dec. 21, 2004).

ah.. "The International Association of Chiefs of Police said that cuts by
the [Bush] administration in federal aid to local police agencies have left
the nation more vulnerable than ever" (USA Today, Nov. 17, 2004).
====================
====================


All of the above coupled with the record trade deficit the US has, seems to
make a bit of a mockery of some of your statements......

More

http://www.reuters.com/financeNewsArticle.jhtml?type=bondsNews&storyID=8632086
WASHINGTON, May 27 (Reuters) - The steadily widening U.S. current account
deficit poses a significant risk to the global economy and bolder action is
needed to cut the shortfall, an International Monetary Fund staff assessment
of the U.S. economy said on Friday.

=================



At the moment 5.40 EST May 28th (Australia) the US deficit is (a bit hard
because it keeps going up)....

http://www.americaneconomicalert.org/ticker_home.asp

$US 262,944,001,900.00

In fact it has gone up a few million in the last few minutes........





===================



- "I can't wait to start killing some Australians!"
- "Um, I think we're at war with Canada..."
- "Canada, Australia - what's the difference?"
-- South Park Movie




Well it was an American movie, so I guess that accounts for the lack of
knowledge in geography :-)
el gran hermano te vigila
2005-05-29 06:45:12 UTC
Permalink
Post by RamRod Sword of Baal
Well you have been trying to impose your "American Culture" (an oxymoron if
I ever heard one) the rest of the world now for ages, but the rest of the
world just laughs at you.
I should have used the word "adopted," but in the end it is imposed because
they have no choice in that our culture is the most advanced and no other
culture can resist what we have to offer. I even took a class in
anthropology about 10 years and the Nigerian teacher described the sense
of awe "less-complex" cultures view America, that the day we put a man on
the moon we became almost-godlike in their eyes - that if we could do that
we could do anything.

It's interesting to note that for all you non-U.S. leftists' talk about
"diversity," you ignore the fact that America is a truly multicultural
society. For example, I live on the border with Mexico and my local
culture is truly unique, a blend of Mexican traditional culture combined
with the U.S. political and economic systems. The result is that even
though almost everyone here is of Mexican descent, their lives are far
better than their relatives in Mexico. In comparison, Australia is
relatively mono-ethnic and mono-cultural. Aside from the handful of
Aborigines that you feel so guilty about having conquered, your country
is lilly- white and culturally bonded to the lilly-white UK. If there
is a point, it might be that for the most part Britain and especially
Australia are relatively meaningless in the world politics and trade.
So that would mean that for all our flaws and your perceived superior
enlightenment, your system is actually inferior to ours because we are
so much more powerful as a result of our system.
Jeff North
2005-05-29 08:39:24 UTC
Permalink
On Sun, 29 May 2005 06:45:12 GMT, in alt.politics.homosexuality "el
| In comparison, Australia is
| relatively mono-ethnic and mono-cultural. Aside from the handful of
| Aborigines that you feel so guilty about having conquered, your country
| is lilly- white and culturally bonded to the lilly-white UK.
Don't get out of your trailer park much, do you?
---------------------------------------------------------------
***@yourpantsyahoo.com.au : Remove your pants to reply
---------------------------------------------------------------
w***@privacy.net
2005-05-29 17:00:02 UTC
Permalink
Post by Jeff North
Don't get out of your trailer park much, do you?
You do of course. Not having a frige (then why should you when you
light by kerosene lamp) in your trailer you must make frequent runs to
Kangaroo for perishables.
RamRod Sword of Baal
2005-05-29 17:11:47 UTC
Permalink
Post by w***@privacy.net
Post by Jeff North
Don't get out of your trailer park much, do you?
You do of course. Not having a frige (then why should you when you
light by kerosene lamp) in your trailer you must make frequent runs to
Kangaroo for perishables.
Sorry, we have discovered electricity here, do not judge Oz by your
standards of dark age trailer parks please.
RamRod Sword of Baal
2005-05-29 16:05:41 UTC
Permalink
Post by el gran hermano te vigila
Post by RamRod Sword of Baal
Well you have been trying to impose your "American Culture" (an oxymoron
if I ever heard one) the rest of the world now for ages, but the rest of
the world just laughs at you.
I should have used the word "adopted," but in the end it is imposed because
they have no choice in that our culture is the most advanced and no other
culture can resist what we have to offer.
Ah yes, American culture, let us see, McDonalds, Starbucks, Pizza Hut, Taco
Bell.
Post by el gran hermano te vigila
I even took a class in
anthropology about 10 years and the Nigerian teacher described the sense
of awe "less-complex" cultures view America, that the day we put a man on
the moon we became almost-godlike in their eyes - that if we could do that
we could do anything.
Yes I can see that you might impress some Nigerians, considering that
arounds 60% live below the poverty line there.
Post by el gran hermano te vigila
It's interesting to note that for all you non-U.S. leftists' talk about
"diversity," you ignore the fact that America is a truly multicultural
society. For example, I live on the border with Mexico and my local
culture is truly unique, a blend of Mexican traditional culture combined
with the U.S. political and economic systems. The result is that even
though almost everyone here is of Mexican descent, their lives are far
better than their relatives in Mexico.
Yes I have been to a border town in Texas, El Paso, and seen the conditions
there, and was not impressed......
Post by el gran hermano te vigila
In comparison, Australia is
relatively mono-ethnic and mono-cultural. Aside from the handful of
Aborigines that you feel so guilty about having conquered, your country
is lilly- white and culturally bonded to the lilly-white UK. If there
is a point, it might be that for the most part Britain and especially
Australia are relatively meaningless in the world politics and trade.
It would seem that either you have never travelled outside of Texas, or that
you never absorbed anything from what ever travels you may have taken.


If you are capable of seeing anything of culture, then a trip to UK or
Europe might just be of a benefit to you.

BTW the UK is anything but lilly-white, as a trip there will show you.



As for Australia, we embraced multiculturalism many years ago, and unlike
the US we have little problems with it. We do not have race riots, which we
hear so much about in the USA.

Australia's population now, especially in the large cities is quite diverse.
There are large Muslim, and Asian sections of our population, and we have
had a large influx of various European migrants over the last 60 years.

These people's cultures have mingled and inriched that of the Australian of
pre world war 2 to form quite a different Australia, to that of pre WW2
Australia.
Post by el gran hermano te vigila
So that would mean that for all our flaws and your perceived superior
enlightenment, your system is actually inferior to ours because we are
so much more powerful as a result of our system.
You know I lived in UK for a period in the early sixties, and I heard
similar spiel there at the time when children were taught "England rules the
waves" although at the time England was a declining world power, and you
sound just like them then...........
L. Michael Roberts
2005-05-29 16:38:28 UTC
Permalink
<snip>
Post by RamRod Sword of Baal
Ah yes, American culture, let us see, McDonalds, Starbucks, Pizza Hut, Taco
Bell.
You left out gay guzzling SUVs, Oprah, Gerlado and Who Wants To Marry a
Millionaire!

<snip>
--
+==================== L. Michael Roberts ======================+
This represents my personal opinion and NOT Company policy
Goderich, Ont, Canada. To reply, post a request for my valid E-mail
"Life is a sexually transmitted, terminal, condition"
+================================================================+
RamRod Sword of Baal
2005-05-29 16:54:45 UTC
Permalink
Post by L. Michael Roberts
<snip>
Post by RamRod Sword of Baal
Ah yes, American culture, let us see, McDonalds, Starbucks, Pizza Hut,
Taco Bell.
You left out gay guzzling SUVs, Oprah, Gerlado and Who Wants To Marry a
Millionaire!
<snip>
Oh God, I forgot Jerry Springer :-)
la guerra es la paz
2005-05-29 22:32:55 UTC
Permalink
Post by RamRod Sword of Baal
Post by L. Michael Roberts
You left out gay guzzling SUVs, Oprah, Gerlado and Who Wants To Marry a
Millionaire!
<snip>
Oh God, I forgot Jerry Springer :-)
But Geraldo is theoretically Hispandex, Oprah is definitely black, so
both are "multicultural" enough to be acceptable to you. As for
Jerry Springer, he was mayor of Cincinnati for a time and I was
hoping he would run for president, but he can't because he was born
in the UK.
la guerra es la paz
2005-05-29 22:29:38 UTC
Permalink
Ah yes, American culture, let us see, McDonalds, Starbucks, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell.
And I even worked for Pizza Hut when I was younger (I was a pizzaboy and
raked in tips). But I agree that all of the above SUCK so bad and I
really refuse to eat at them (especially McDonalds). For the most part
it is because of their attitude that they can make an inferior product
and compensate through aggressive marketing. I had the misfortune of
trying Bud Light beer a few months ago and while I don't really care for
beer I do drink it for the alcohol and some are better than others (I
like Tecate con limón y sal), Bud Light was just the foulest tasting
thing I've ever tasted in my life. And despite the abundance of good
Mexican beers around here, Bud Light seems to have a nearly iron grip
on the local market, and even on the other side of the river I'm seeing
it being agressively marketed (and even being touted as "imported").
Same with Coke - while in the past Mexican markets and drugstores
carried a wide variety of national Mexican brands of soda as well as
delicious canned fruit nectars, you no longer see any of them because
Coke dominates the market. Nevermind that Mexico produces huge
amounts of sugar and Mexicans consume HUGE amounts of sugar (believe
me, you've never seen any group of people who consume so much fucking
sugar - babies nurse on bottles of soda pop and I've even seen sugar
touted as some sort of "nutrient" on candy bar commercials that say
"sugar gives you energy"), despite that it is an American company
that sells that sugar to them.
Post by el gran hermano te vigila
I even took a class in
anthropology about 10 years and the Nigerian teacher described the sense
of awe "less-complex" cultures view America, that the day we put a man on
the moon we became almost-godlike in their eyes - that if we could do that
we could do anything.
Yes I can see that you might impress some Nigerians, considering that arounds 60% live below the poverty line there.
Yes they do, and that is not my fault. While Nigeria and so many other
countries spent the last few centuries engaging in tribal warfare and
living in almost-literal Stone Age conditions, we were busy developing
science, government, and economics and as a result we are very advanced,
our government is very clean and efficient (especially compared to
Nigeria and even my neighbor Mexico I keep referring to), and we are
incredibly wealthy and while not communist our income distribution is
far more equitable than Nigeria's or Mexico's. And I always point out
the obvious, that despite all of America's perceived flaws (we are
warmongers, we have poor and homeless people, we have occasional cases
of injustice), we are still the *** #1 *** destination for people
fleeing their native countries.
Yes I have been to a border town in Texas, El Paso, and seen the conditions there, and was not impressed......
Are you kidding!?! I grew up in El Paso (I'm now in Laredo) and I thought
it was just so much fun. I'm not sure what "conditions" you are referring
to, El Paso was not too bad, it was Juárez that was deplorable. No, neither
El Paso nor Laredo are Manhattan, Rome, or Tokyo, but they are so much
better than their countparts Juárez and Nuevo Laredo on the Mexican side
just a few feet away. Same brown Mexicans, two separate political and
economic systems, and the difference is just astounding. Not to babble on
about Mexican politics too much, but that country is ruled by an organized
criminal sydicate mafia that masquerades as a political party (PRI) and
has turned the entire Mexican economic system into a racket to benefit
themselves personally. As the economy produces a net gain in GDP, most of
that gain is siphoned off into secret Swiss bank accounts held by PRI
officials. Also, the custom of bribery means that there is always an
extra "tax" or "fee" on any transactions which also drains GDP. The result
is like Mexico's economy is being strangled, no amount of innovation or
hard work matters because almost everything you gain disappears, therefore
Mexicans are fleeing Mexico to work in the U.S. where their hard work is
rewarded. And if you did see a bad part of El Paso, it is true that the
border region is much poorer than the rest of the U.S., and the simple
reason is that Mexico acts like sort of an economic black hole, it sucks
up all wealth in Mexico and its gravitational effects extend a bit into
the U.S. and sucks wealth out the border region (because trade links our
area's economy to Mexico).
If you are capable of seeing anything of culture, then a trip to UK or Europe might just be of a benefit to you.
BTW the UK is anything but lilly-white, as a trip there will show you.
I have been to the UK twice, the last time around 1988. I did the whole
England/Wales/Scotland thing and visited the Welsh city of Caernarvon
which is near where my Welsh ancestors came from around 1875. White,
white, white so white, except for London which I'll admit did have
plenty of non-whites. Even more interesting, the British whites were
even whiter than American whites, since so many of us live in the
sunny southern to western regions we all have a slight unhealthy tan
(and get skin cancer by age 50); but the Britons looked like ghosts,
they all have a sort of sickly palor about you (it just looks sickly, I
guess, as untanned skin is healthiest).
as for Australia, we embraced multiculturalism many years ago, and unlike the US we have little problems with it. We
do not have race riots, which we hear so much about in the USA.
And you also don't have members of a certain race. Look a little closer
and you'll see the "race riots" (which are rare) are confined almost
exclusively to a particular racial/ethnic group, a group you have almost
ZERO members of living in Australia. In all the years I've lived around
Mexicans, I can't remember one instance where they rioted. Not even when
they were collectively oppressed by the racist Taco Bell chihuahua did
they riot. But I do recall a race riot by a particular racial group when
I lived in Las Vegas back in the early-1990s (the Rodney King thing), and
in the end it was pretty funny because they burned down their neighborhood
welfare office and the government had to set up an emergency tent to
distribute checks and food stamps.
Jeff North
2005-05-29 23:13:05 UTC
Permalink
On Sun, 29 May 2005 22:29:38 GMT, in alt.politics.homosexuality "la
| > Ah yes, American culture, let us see, McDonalds, Starbucks, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell.
|
| And I even worked for Pizza Hut when I was younger (I was a pizzaboy and
| raked in tips). But I agree that all of the above SUCK so bad and I
| really refuse to eat at them (especially McDonalds).
How un-American of you.
---------------------------------------------------------------
***@yourpantsyahoo.com.au : Remove your pants to reply
---------------------------------------------------------------
Robin
2005-05-29 00:05:10 UTC
Permalink
"el gran hermano te vigila" <***@partido.org.mx> wrote in
message news:zaRle.9260$***@newsread1.news.atl.earthlink.net...
Offhand I can think of a total of 4
Post by el gran hermano te vigila
Australian cultural figures - Paul Hogan, Dame Edna,
Crocodile Dundee,
and Steve Irwin. That's it, 4 internationally-known
celebrities for
an entire continent.
Paul Hogan and Crocodile Dundee are one in the same, so YOU
can only think of three. How *could* you leave out Nicole
Kidman, Russell Crowe and Olivia Newton John?
PErTHgUY.mmv
2005-05-29 14:08:29 UTC
Permalink
Nicole Kidman was born in Hawaii, Russel Crowe in New Zealand but we still
call them ours, so do we Mel Gibson (but I wished he stayed inNew York where
he was born. Other Australian celebrities and movies known in America are
Hugh Jackman (trained in Perth) heath Ledger (from Perth) Judy Davis(from
Perth) Mellissa George (from Perth and was recently in Amityville horror and
was in Alias and theifs with John Stamos) Isla Fisher (from Perth and was in
Scooby Doo) Rachel Griffiths, Martin Henderson (born in New Zealand but we
call Australian was in a movie with Ice Cube) Guy Pearce. Kylie Minogue
(recently had a top ten hit there) Jet, Inxs, Crowded house. Farscape was
filmed in Australia with Australian actors (except one) and is a huge
success in America, how could you frelling forget that, What about all the
American movies filmed in Australia (all the last three of the star wars
movies, spiderman, scooby doo, the upcoming superman, the matrix movies etc
etc with Australian actors in. America knows Priscilla :Queen of the
desert(Australian movie) which they tried to copy with To wong foo (or
something like that, with Wesley Snipes and Patrick Swayze in) America knows
Lindy Chamberlain story (a movie with Merryl Streep in was made) etc Tell me
if I left anything out.
Post by el gran hermano te vigila
Offhand I can think of a total of 4
Post by el gran hermano te vigila
Australian cultural figures - Paul Hogan, Dame Edna,
Crocodile Dundee,
and Steve Irwin. That's it, 4 internationally-known
celebrities for
an entire continent.
Paul Hogan and Crocodile Dundee are one in the same, so YOU
can only think of three. How *could* you leave out Nicole
Kidman, Russell Crowe and Olivia Newton John?
Boy Toy
2005-05-29 14:56:42 UTC
Permalink
On Sun, 29 May 2005 22:08:29 +0800, "PErTHgUY.mmv"
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
Nicole Kidman was born in Hawaii, Russel Crowe in New Zealand but we still
call them ours, so do we Mel Gibson (but I wished he stayed inNew York where
he was born. Other Australian celebrities and movies known in America are
Hugh Jackman (trained in Perth) heath Ledger (from Perth) Judy Davis(from
Perth) Mellissa George (from Perth and was recently in Amityville horror and
was in Alias and theifs with John Stamos) Isla Fisher (from Perth and was in
Scooby Doo) Rachel Griffiths, Martin Henderson (born in New Zealand but we
call Australian was in a movie with Ice Cube) Guy Pearce. Kylie Minogue
(recently had a top ten hit there) Jet, Inxs, Crowded house. Farscape was
filmed in Australia with Australian actors (except one) and is a huge
success in America, how could you frelling forget that, What about all the
American movies filmed in Australia (all the last three of the star wars
movies, spiderman, scooby doo, the upcoming superman, the matrix movies etc
etc with Australian actors in. America knows Priscilla :Queen of the
desert(Australian movie) which they tried to copy with To wong foo (or
something like that, with Wesley Snipes and Patrick Swayze in) America knows
Lindy Chamberlain story (a movie with Merryl Streep in was made) etc Tell me
if I left anything out.
Don't sweat it. The Americans will claim anybody of note who has
spent any time in the U.S. as being American. It's how they get to
claim all the great inventions and discoveries were made by Americans.

LOL
--
Boy Toy
Toxic Toyz 4 Nasty Boyz
http://www.boytoyvideos.com
la guerra es la paz
2005-05-29 17:59:06 UTC
Permalink
Post by Boy Toy
Don't sweat it. The Americans will claim anybody of note who has
spent any time in the U.S. as being American. It's how they get to
claim all the great inventions and discoveries were made by Americans.
And I was going to mention it, though it is often the celebrities who
do it. I'm pretty sure Mel Gibson (who grew up in Australia but was
born in the U.S.?) lives in the U.S., as well as Nicole Kidman and
maybe even Russell Crowe. Also notice how Gibson and Crowe don't
sound terribly Australian in most of their movies or even when being
interviewed, they all affect a fairly standard American accent.

As for inventions, no we haven't invented EVERYTHING, but our country
is #1 on the number of patents issued anually worldwide. I'm sure
Australia has some research going, but your tiny economy simply can't
support lots of advanced and expensive research, so I'll bet anything
Australia ranks near the bottom when compared to other industrialized
nations (I mean, can your population of 20 million ever compete with
Germany's 150 (?) million or the U.S.'s 300 million or China's
1.25 billion?
L. Michael Roberts
2005-05-29 19:55:34 UTC
Permalink
<snip>
Post by la guerra es la paz
As for inventions, no we haven't invented EVERYTHING, but our country
is #1 on the number of patents issued anually worldwide.
Quality is more important than quantity [except in may parts of the
USA]. Many of the plethora of patents issued are trivial and/or
frivolous or are obvious to those skilled in the art.... some guy was
recently awarded a patent for a method of swinging on a child's swing!
GMAB!!

<snip>
--
+==================== L. Michael Roberts ======================+
This represents my personal opinion and NOT Company policy
Goderich, Ont, Canada. To reply, post a request for my valid E-mail
"Life is a sexually transmitted, terminal, condition"
+================================================================+
Eric Bohlman
2005-05-29 22:07:41 UTC
Permalink
[followups limited to alt.politics.homosexuality]
Post by L. Michael Roberts
<snip>
Post by la guerra es la paz
As for inventions, no we haven't invented EVERYTHING, but our country
is #1 on the number of patents issued anually worldwide.
Quality is more important than quantity [except in may parts of the
USA]. Many of the plethora of patents issued are trivial and/or
frivolous or are obvious to those skilled in the art.... some guy was
recently awarded a patent for a method of swinging on a child's swing!
GMAB!!
You raise an important point: comparing numbers of patents between
countries is only possible if all the countries involved have the same
criteria for issuing patents. Most countries, unlike the US, don't
regard software and business models as patentable, so naturally the
numbers are going to be lower. BTW, similar considerations apply to
comparisons of number of lawyers. The US *appears* to have more lawyers
than any other country, but part of the reason for this is that it's one
of the few countries that doesn't make a distinction between barristers
and solicitors. The result is that people doing transactional law
(contracts, real estate, etc.) but not litigation get counted as
"lawyers" in the US but not elsewhere.
Boy Toy
2005-05-29 23:15:01 UTC
Permalink
Post by Eric Bohlman
[followups limited to alt.politics.homosexuality]
Post by L. Michael Roberts
<snip>
Post by la guerra es la paz
As for inventions, no we haven't invented EVERYTHING, but our country
is #1 on the number of patents issued anually worldwide.
Quality is more important than quantity [except in may parts of the
USA]. Many of the plethora of patents issued are trivial and/or
frivolous or are obvious to those skilled in the art.... some guy was
recently awarded a patent for a method of swinging on a child's swing!
GMAB!!
You raise an important point: comparing numbers of patents between
countries is only possible if all the countries involved have the same
criteria for issuing patents. Most countries, unlike the US, don't
regard software and business models as patentable, so naturally the
numbers are going to be lower. BTW, similar considerations apply to
comparisons of number of lawyers. The US *appears* to have more lawyers
than any other country, but part of the reason for this is that it's one
of the few countries that doesn't make a distinction between barristers
and solicitors. The result is that people doing transactional law
(contracts, real estate, etc.) but not litigation get counted as
"lawyers" in the US but not elsewhere.
Can you site a source on that? I'd be very interested in seeing it.
My understanding was that the number of lawyers per capita in the U.S.
was at least ten time greater than the total number of lawyers
(barristers AND solicitors) in ALL other countries.
--
Boy Toy
Toxic Toyz 4 Nasty Boyz
http://www.boytoyvideos.com
w***@privacy.net
2005-05-30 05:15:17 UTC
Permalink
On Sun, 29 May 2005 15:55:34 -0400, "L. Michael Roberts"
Post by L. Michael Roberts
<snip>
Post by la guerra es la paz
As for inventions, no we haven't invented EVERYTHING, but our country
is #1 on the number of patents issued anually worldwide.
Quality is more important than quantity [except in may parts of the
USA]. Many of the plethora of patents issued are trivial and/or
frivolous or are obvious to those skilled in the art.... some guy was
recently awarded a patent for a method of swinging on a child's swing!
GMAB!!
But canada claims the patent on "gay guzzling SUVs", right, moose?
Don't you fear for your queer brother's life every time he goes near a
car dealership?
Post by L. Michael Roberts
<snip>
Boy Toy
2005-05-29 20:25:34 UTC
Permalink
On Sun, 29 May 2005 17:59:06 GMT, "la guerra es la paz"
Post by la guerra es la paz
Post by Boy Toy
Don't sweat it. The Americans will claim anybody of note who has
spent any time in the U.S. as being American. It's how they get to
claim all the great inventions and discoveries were made by Americans.
And I was going to mention it, though it is often the celebrities who
do it. I'm pretty sure Mel Gibson (who grew up in Australia but was
born in the U.S.?) lives in the U.S., as well as Nicole Kidman and
maybe even Russell Crowe. Also notice how Gibson and Crowe don't
sound terribly Australian in most of their movies or even when being
interviewed, they all affect a fairly standard American accent.
As for inventions, no we haven't invented EVERYTHING, but our country
is #1 on the number of patents issued anually worldwide. I'm sure
Australia has some research going, but your tiny economy simply can't
support lots of advanced and expensive research, so I'll bet anything
Australia ranks near the bottom when compared to other industrialized
nations (I mean, can your population of 20 million ever compete with
Germany's 150 (?) million or the U.S.'s 300 million or China's
1.25 billion?
Actually I'm not from Australia. I'm a Canuck.
--
Boy Toy
Toxic Toyz 4 Nasty Boyz
http://www.boytoyvideos.com
la guerra es la paz
2005-05-30 19:57:02 UTC
Permalink
Post by Boy Toy
Actually I'm not from Australia. I'm a Canuck.
Oh... I've never been to Canada except for a few hours at Niagara Falls
when I was 5. All I know about Canada comes from "Strange Brew," "Kids
in the Hall," and "Terrance & Philip."
PErTHgUY.mmv
2005-06-04 13:38:13 UTC
Permalink
I thought of a few more: Naomi Watts, Geffrey Rush, Simon Baker (was given
his own series:the guardian), AC/D(Bonn Scott from Perth), Moulin rouge, Baz
Lurrmann, etc
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
Nicole Kidman was born in Hawaii, Russel Crowe in New Zealand but we still
call them ours, so do we Mel Gibson (but I wished he stayed inNew York where
he was born. Other Australian celebrities and movies known in America are
Hugh Jackman (trained in Perth) heath Ledger (from Perth) Judy Davis(from
Perth) Mellissa George (from Perth and was recently in Amityville horror and
was in Alias and theifs with John Stamos) Isla Fisher (from Perth and was in
Scooby Doo) Rachel Griffiths, Martin Henderson (born in New Zealand but we
call Australian was in a movie with Ice Cube) Guy Pearce. Kylie Minogue
(recently had a top ten hit there) Jet, Inxs, Crowded house. Farscape was
filmed in Australia with Australian actors (except one) and is a huge
success in America, how could you frelling forget that, What about all the
American movies filmed in Australia (all the last three of the star wars
movies, spiderman, scooby doo, the upcoming superman, the matrix movies etc
etc with Australian actors in. America knows Priscilla :Queen of the
desert(Australian movie) which they tried to copy with To wong foo (or
something like that, with Wesley Snipes and Patrick Swayze in) America knows
Lindy Chamberlain story (a movie with Merryl Streep in was made) etc Tell me
if I left anything out.
Post by el gran hermano te vigila
Offhand I can think of a total of 4
Post by el gran hermano te vigila
Australian cultural figures - Paul Hogan, Dame Edna,
Crocodile Dundee,
and Steve Irwin. That's it, 4 internationally-known
celebrities for
an entire continent.
Paul Hogan and Crocodile Dundee are one in the same, so YOU
can only think of three. How *could* you leave out Nicole
Kidman, Russell Crowe and Olivia Newton John?
PErTHgUY.mmv
2005-06-12 13:39:26 UTC
Permalink
mmmmm, thats AC/DC, also Cate Blanchett and Jack Thompson (in the new movie
about Richard Nixon)
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
I thought of a few more: Naomi Watts, Geffrey Rush, Simon Baker (was given
his own series:the guardian), AC/D(Bonn Scott from Perth), Moulin rouge, Baz
Lurrmann, etc
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
Nicole Kidman was born in Hawaii, Russel Crowe in New Zealand but we still
call them ours, so do we Mel Gibson (but I wished he stayed inNew York
where
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
he was born. Other Australian celebrities and movies known in America are
Hugh Jackman (trained in Perth) heath Ledger (from Perth) Judy Davis(from
Perth) Mellissa George (from Perth and was recently in Amityville horror
and
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
was in Alias and theifs with John Stamos) Isla Fisher (from Perth and
was
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
in
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
Scooby Doo) Rachel Griffiths, Martin Henderson (born in New Zealand but we
call Australian was in a movie with Ice Cube) Guy Pearce. Kylie Minogue
(recently had a top ten hit there) Jet, Inxs, Crowded house. Farscape was
filmed in Australia with Australian actors (except one) and is a huge
success in America, how could you frelling forget that, What about all the
American movies filmed in Australia (all the last three of the star wars
movies, spiderman, scooby doo, the upcoming superman, the matrix movies
etc
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
etc with Australian actors in. America knows Priscilla :Queen of the
desert(Australian movie) which they tried to copy with To wong foo (or
something like that, with Wesley Snipes and Patrick Swayze in) America
knows
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
Lindy Chamberlain story (a movie with Merryl Streep in was made) etc
Tell
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
me
Post by PErTHgUY.mmv
if I left anything out.
Post by el gran hermano te vigila
Offhand I can think of a total of 4
Post by el gran hermano te vigila
Australian cultural figures - Paul Hogan, Dame Edna,
Crocodile Dundee,
and Steve Irwin. That's it, 4 internationally-known
celebrities for
an entire continent.
Paul Hogan and Crocodile Dundee are one in the same, so YOU
can only think of three. How *could* you leave out Nicole
Kidman, Russell Crowe and Olivia Newton John?
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